What’s my 2020 word of the year?
I feel like I spent 2019 in one big blur. My word of the year for 2019 was focus and boy, did I focus. Too much. Although one of my biggest dreams came true (having a homebirth), I still spent most of the year just checking off my to-do list boxes. The bad part, though, was I didn’t have fun things on my to-do list.
So, for 2020, I am doing things much different. In 2020 I am choosing to enjoy life. I will be focusing on things that bring my family joy.
This will be tough since I have 4 young kids and somebody always needs to go potty, needs a drink, has spilled something, can’t reach something, or on and on and on….. I also have the issue of myself. Messes make me anxious. I can not handle a messy house. I’ve been working REALLY hard the last 6 months at not having anxiety over messes. I think I’m getting better. However, up until now, I’ve constantly just been cleaning up after little people all day long. I can’t seem to enjoy playing dolls or blocks because I’m too busy chasing the next task that needs to be done.
Now, this plan of mine should be a lot easier now than if I would have tried it in previous years because I only have 1 full time daycare child left. God has really taken his hand at that (but that’s a whole other amazing story.) I am working really hard at slowing down because I want my focus to be those little smiles while they still want to smile and laugh with me.
Right now, if I play with the kids, I’m thinking of the crumbs that need to be swept up. When I’m sweeping up the crumbs, I’m thinking of the homeschooling I should be doing. When I’m homeschooling, I’m thinking of the soap that needs to be made. If I’m making soap, I’m thinking of how I should be playing with the kids more. It’s a vicious circle and I refuse to live this way anymore. Older women are constantly drilling it into young moms heads to enjoy these years. I’m on a mission to do just that. To enjoy these needy, whiny, very repetitive, no sleeping years.
So, my action steps are to keep my phone in my bedroom until nap time. That distraction needs to stop. Then, I plan on making sure that I do no housework between the kids waking up and eating lunch. Excluding spills or those kind of things. These two things should really make a huge difference. After having baby number 4, my routines got so messed up and I’m missing my consistency. So, slowly getting my routine back in order should help too. Those are physical things I am changing, but I’m also going to be working on spiritual things.
I need to be more thankful. I don’t think it’s possible to have a joyful heart without constantly thanking God for the blessings all around us. While I’m in a tough season of life, I can choose to make myself aware of it and choose to focus on the smiles more than the whines.
In 2020, my word of the year is JOY. I will make all my goals for 2020 based off of this word. And hopefully, I will find the perfect balance between focusing and playing.